Daily Devotional: Reinvigorate your weary soul in a world that offers only sinking sand on Gods solid rock today.
Restore Reset ReFresh
Psalm 40: 1-2 I waited patiently for the Lord to help me and to turn to me and hear my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walk along.
August 5, 2005 2pm.
Jack wasn't feeling good. I came home from work to take him to the doctor. He came down the stairs and fell. I should have been alarmed but looking back I wasn't at that moment. I thought he had tripped so my daughter and I helped him up and into the car. On the way to the doctor I seriously thought about his symptoms and began to panic. He wasn't acting right, he was weak, his legs hurt and couldn't eat. At 8 years old something was very wrong. His breathing was off. I made the decision to just head to the emergency room. I put a call to Dale and he rushed from work to meet us. This is the day my life changed forever. Jack was immediately admitted and diagnosed with Gillian-Barre Syndrome. This is an acute immune response to a virus and it attacks the myelan sheath of the nervous system. GBS usually attacks 60 plus year old men or can happen after receiving a vaccine. Jack was 8 and not gotten any recent vaccines. He went from a healthy, happy and very active boy to the brink of death in just a few days. August 8 2005 4pm;
The ICU staff was preparing him to go to the operating room to have a trach placed because GBS renders you paralyzed. Jack stopped breathing and went into full respiratory arrest. I watched the life drain from him right in front of me. As the staff wheeled in crash carts and began the dance of resuscitating him, his short life flashed through my mind. How did this happen? I froze, went totally numb I was reeling.
They stabilized him and quickly whisked him to the operating room. After 3 months in the hospital Jack came home. A year of recovery and we were back to normal;
so we thought...
At 13 Jack had his first seizure. For the next several years, in and out of the hospital over and over and another near death experience Jack is turning 24 this month. He is getting married in April. Jack is a walking, talking miracle of a story of God's not finished. Our family has cried, prayed and rejoiced for and with Jack. Dale and I have been to the brink of collapse, literally on our knees blinded by tears but God had more planned for us and Jack. I have in times turned my heart from God in my grief but come home again when I realized no man could get me through this. He was the only one big enough to carry me. Despair and grief are heavy. They can only be carried by an even bigger God. In my years of learning to navigate the new normal I had no one but God to completely rely on. I can attest by experience that God is enough. He can carry us through times that are too much for us. Over the many, many years people told me God doesn't give you more than you can handle. This is so incorrect and does a disservice to those who have grieved so deeply they thought they wouldn't survive. I will tell you He will give you more than you can handle on your own. This so you can become totally reliant on Him and Him alone. The greatest faith is born in the greatest times of despair. There is no human who can carry anyone through grief. Without God it can break you. Grief and despair are the heaviest of emotions; A black blanket you can't get rid of. I know how heavy the burden is. I also know God is bigger and He will carry you. He can and will get you through and heal your heart. If you are in a time of grief; whether through loss of a loved one, job, illness, accident, dream or relationship God can and will bring you through. My times of grief were times I now cherish because I was closest to my redeemer. My God, my provider, and lover of my soul. He never left, even in my times of extreme sadness and even when I turned from His face, He was there. He is still here. I don't know what the future holds. The world looks unsteady and unpredictable but what I do know is Abba is enough. Rest today in the knowledge that He can and will stay by our sides. He isn't going anywhere. He has us and is closer now then ever before. He who was, is and is to come is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.